Blog Excerpt from Manuscript
|Posted on 27 February, 2016 at 18:05|
At the tender age of nineteen I met Jimmy, the man who was to become the greatest love of my life. Ruggedly handsome, in trained physical condition, exciting, romantic, playful and full of life, one blessed with great depth of feeling. However, there was another side to Jimmy, he was one of serious mind, highly volatile, and totally unpredictable. Jimmy walked tall, a man among men, he was loved, respected, and admired by many, yet feared and despised in various circles. He loved with a passion and hated with a-vengeance. The eldest son, of a brutally sadistic man, Jimmy stood the product of the generation before him. With the passage of time, Jimmy developed a desperate need to be held safe and secure in the arms of total and absolute love, his possessive nature became obsessive, there-by satisfying my own personal need to be loved and desired.The birth of our child in 1980, was nothing short of a miracle. Before our eyes, a beautiful baby girl, the product of our love, born upon her father’s birthday, three individuals became as one.
In the year 1985, I was forewarned of a multiple fatality by road that was to claim the lives of three men, my husband Jimmy, and two others unknown to myself. Forewarned Is forearmed, information is Power. At some point in time Jimmy’s actions had warranted forgiveness for the sins of the past, a reprieve had been granted, a stay of execution. I held within my grasp, the power to change Jimmy’s fate. I allowed emotion, fear and denial to overshadowed my judgment. Concerned that Jimmy’s reaction to a prediction of this magnitude may create the very incident that I had hoped to avoid, I sought direction from both my Mother and my best friend Debby, the verdict was unanimous in favour of concealing the prediction, BIG MISTAKE ! Oblivious to the spiritual level of intervention, Jimmy continued his journey through life, unaware of the oncoming disaster that lay in waiting.
On the evening of February 13TH 1986, I became both physically and mentally overcome by the overwhelming forewarning of danger, I ran to my mothers room in tears “Mum, it’s Jimmy! There’s something seriously wrong, I know it! I can feel it! He’s dead!” My Mother did her best to console me, however the expression on her face, revealed that she too feared the worst. Mum knew when I had a feeling that strong, you could guarantee it will come to pass. Within a matter of minutes my heart-rate slowed immensely, as an incredible feeling of peace fell over my entire body, accompanied by a silent message affirming that Jimmy would soon be by my side, and so he was, in spiritual form, for at that precise moment, Jimmy met with his death in a horrific road accident that claimed the lives of three men.
On the morning of February 14th 1986, two police officers drove both my sister Vicky and I to the morgue. The male officer leading the way into the viewing room suddenly turned in horror, he then made an attempt to prepare me for, or discourage me from the viewing. Jimmy had sustained massive head injuries, as a result death came instantaneously. Nothing could prepare me for the sight that I was about to behold, nor the heartache that followed. As the initial shock subsided, before his body and soul I stood, my hands pressed up against the window pane. Just for a moment, I toyed with the illusion that perhaps the body belonged to that of another, of similar characteristics, heartless? No! human. To but hold him in my arms, to cradle his head against my breast, rock him gently, back and forth, tell him everything will be alright, tell him I love him, and make it all go away.
“To My Great Pain And Sorrow, Neither A River Of Tears, Nor A Mountain Of Prayers, Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time.”
"COME WITH ME."
A man of strength and determination, in possession of a love that would not die, Jimmy reached out to me from beyond, mere death could not sever the bond that unites our souls. February 17th 1986. 6:30am: In the silence of my room, the muffled cry of hopelessness could be heard to cease, as Jimmy made his presence known. As he held his hand out-stretched, awaiting my hand in his, an overwhelming emotion transpired, only to be enhanced by the Clairaudient plea: "COME WITH ME.” Driven by a tremendous desire to join my love on the other side, whilst held in torment on this, the physical plane, by duty, love and devotion for our five year old daughter Serena. Incapable of making the journey with Serena by my side, and unwilling to pass over without her, I became torn between the spirit world and the earthly plane. Utterly exasperated by the totally irreversible action, I cursed the Lord unmercifully. I begged to question why, why the Lord should destroy such a love. To take the very center of my being, to rip me apart, and leave me to suffer mercilessly. With the passage of time, blinded by an escalated anger that inappropriately extended to the one that I love with all of my heart and soul. I cried with rage: “JIMMY, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? HOW COULD YOU GO AND LEAVE WITHOUT ME? I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, NEVER!”
“Those Of Broken Hearts Lay Stripped Of Rational Thought, Hence The Foolish, Irrational Behavior, Insensitive To The Feelings Of Others.”
March 1986: I engaged the services of a professional Clairvoyant. Margaret Dent delivered an accurate account of the immediate state of affairs. Tears filled my eyes as this virtual stranger revealed Jimmy’s inner most thoughts and feelings. In the following message Margaret disclosed significantly more than a statement of fact. And I quote: "WITH THIS PERSON, THIS PASSING, THE SHOCK RIGHT AT THE PASSING WAS MORE FELT BY HIM, CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THIS? THAT HE HADN’T EXPECTED IT. NOW IT SEEMS TO BE PRETTY IMPORTANT TO GET THIS MESSAGE THROUGH TO YOU, THAT IT WAS A SHOCK TO HIM.” And my heart stood to attention. To some degree I owe the survival of the ordeal to Margaret who inspired inner strength and courage by the granting of her support in my hour of need. As opposed to those of little faith and considerably less insight.